I Don’t Want This Reincarnation

Piii.

“Haa…”

The fox bit the branch and ran happily. When I saw it, I sighed.

“Let’s stop.”

It was already the 17^th time. I had no idea where it was so much fun to come with a branch that had been thrown away.

Piik! Piii!

As if understanding my lament, the fox raised its tail up and began to make noise about something. There was nothing to do anyway, but it sounded like he was telling me to throw it.

“I get it, I get it.”

There was nothing to refute, so I threw the branch back. After doing that ten more times, the fox seemed to be satisfied, so he lay down at my feet and yawned with his little round body.

He had been playing hard, so it was nap time? He looked very similar to a child.

There was nothing special, so I sat down next to the fox. I looked up at the blue sky, feeling my bangs fluttering in the pleasant breeze.

It had already been five days since I read Han Yi-gyeol’s book. As Elohim said, I need to dream more to see Cheon Sa-yeon’s past that will be completed in the future, but even if I ate black candy, the fourth dream hadn’t yet come.

Before that, there was some time between the first dream and the second dream, but it wasn’t as long as this time. Even if I tried to relax, I couldn’t help but feel nervous.

‘…I don’t know.’

Even if I asked Elohim, he only gave me an incomprehensible answer that dreams always came when I needed them. As I looked at the clouds passing slowly for a long time, the fox, who was lying on his back with his eyes closed, pricked his ears and raised his head.

“You look bored.”

Surprisingly, it was Elahah who appeared with the sound of rustling and crushing of grass. I got up with awkwardness.

“Elahah.”

Unlike Elohim, who I met and talked to every day, I was still a bit awkward with Elahah because we rarely met. Elahah didn’t seem to want to get close to me, so it was ambiguous to approach him first.

“Or maybe I’m disturbing you when you’re having a good time?”

Elahah, who saw the fox waving its tail with its body upright as I did, made fun of me as I smoothed the nape of my neck awkwardly.

“It’s not that. He keeps following me. I don’t know why.”

“Of course, he’s following you because he’s interested in you.”

Elahah, who replied in a sour tone, handed me the small paper bag he was holding.

“Take it.”

“What is it?”

“Eat when you’re hungry.”

When I opened the paper bag, I could smell the fragrant scent. It contented freshly made warm waffles.

“El and I will have to stay in the library today.”

“Are you that busy?”

At those words, I felt sorry for him. It seemed that my greed had given two people a job for nothing.

“Because it’s quite a lot. But it doesn’t matter. It’s a job that needs to be done at least once anyway.”

Elahah responded lightly as if he didn’t care.

“Not only the waffles, but I also prepared something to eat on the table, so eat it yourself.”

“Something to eat?”

“Because you won’t be able to last until dinner by eating some waffles.”

“……”

A corner of my chest tickled at the sight of Elohim and Elahah, taking care of my meals as if it was natural. Although I looked like Han Yi-gyeol, how old am I?

Elahah, who was quietly looking at me who was unfamiliar, opened his mouth.

“Do you know what the age difference is between you and us?”

“Yes?”

“Even if you look at your real age, you are a lot younger than us. Very, very young. So, don’t think about useless things and eat well.”

He looked right through my head, and when he said that, I avoided his gaze and smiled awkwardly.

“Well, it’s true…”

“El said he will check later, so eat it.”

…even being checked?

“Yes. I will eat without skipping meals. Don’t worry.”

“And this.”

He held out the book he was holding in his other hand. It was a book I had recommended the other day.

“You haven’t read it all yet.”

On the cover were the words ‘The Little Prince’. There were things that came to mind over and over again while reading, so I wasn’t happy with this book because I closed it in the middle.

“I understand why you didn’t read it, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to read it through once.”

“Is that so…”

I tried to ignore the bitterness and accepted the book. Elahah, who looked at me with strange eyes, had a smile similar to when he first took out the book.

“Fascinating.”

“……?”

“Why aren’t you offended at all?”

I couldn’t understand the sudden words and just blinked my eyes. What does this mean?

“Should I be offended by Elahah?”

“That’s normal. Of course, El and I must have fully understood.”

“I never thought that way.”

“I know. We can see everything. That’s why I said it was fascinating.”

Elahah said as he came one step closer to me.

“Ordinary humans… feel burdened with this power to read not only the life they have lived but also their thoughts. You’re over-conscious or stressed.”

“Ah.”

It was then that I realized what Elahah was trying to say.

“But even if you know the power we have, nothing has changed and you don’t feel uncomfortable.”

“Is that a problem?”

He touched his lips and tilted his head.

“I’ve seen you all along. Um, I don’t understand why people see me who isn’t great.” (대단한 것도 없는 저를 왜 보는지 이해가안 되기는 하죠)

“Actually, I knew I was particularly blunt in this direction, but…”

Elahah sighed openly and gently grabbed my shoulders as Elohim did.

“You’ve seen me since the beginning, so it doesn’t feel bad, right? Just for that reason?”

“Elahah.”

“Before I met you, I just thought you were born that way. Because you’re not the first person to know how to sacrifice for others even if you don’t have anything.”

“……”

“But now that I see it, it doesn’t seem like such a simple matter. You don’t care enough for yourself.”

Involuntarily, strength entered my hand holding the book. Elahah, who was looking at me as I stood stiffly, tapped my frown with his finger.

“You take it for granted that others interfere with you.”

“…I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m—”

“You don’t belong to anyone else, Kwon Se-hyun. Now is the time to realize that.”

Elahah’s words were heard in the distance. Between the gaping lips, I couldn’t spit out any answer.

* * *

Rumble, the sound of thunder was faintly heard.

Light flashed through the wet window. The moist air drooped down endlessly and the thunder that rumbled the ground seemed to bring an ominous omen.

“He’s in the basement.”

As I hurriedly entered without even being able to breathe, the guard who was waiting in front of the stairs informed me of the man’s location as if he was waiting. I tightened my disorganized black tie again, forcing my harsh breath to be swallowed.

In the basement hallway, with the lights turned off, there was an eerie atmosphere. I walked without hesitation to the innermost room and knocked without delay.

Click.

An attendant in the same suit as me carefully opened the door. I clasped my weakly trembling hands and entered the room.

Through the dim darkness, I could see something wriggling on the floor. I passed by nervously so as not to stop walking.

“…kkeu

, huu…”

His feet were bare and his body was covered in blood, he let out a groan as if his teeth were about to break off. It was all swollen and red, but I quickly recognized that it was a familiar face.

“Where are you looking?”

I only looked down for a brief moment, but a thunderous rebuke flew in. I made a mistake. A cold sweat ran down my cold spine.

I quickly turned my head to the front and saw the man sitting on a chair with his cigarette in his mouth.

The attendant standing next to him turned on the lighter and lit the fire. Cool silver-grey eyes could be seen through the white smoke. Judging from the scent that spread, it wasn’t an ordinary cigarette.

“You’re late?”

“I apologize.”

I had come right away when I heard the news, but the answer was already decided anyway. The man who was staring at me with one eyebrow raised slightly crossed his legs slowly.

“It was a waste. If you had come sooner, it would have been an interesting sight.”

He put what he was holding in his mouth with his finger and lifted his chin towards his opponent who was lying on the floor. I forced my eyes to return to the man and swallowed dry saliva.

“As you know, it’s been a while since I have been here.”

“Yes.”

Kkiik, the man leaned his back on the chair and from his old chair, there was a rustling sound that pierced my ear.

“How many years have you had this store?”

“…it’s been three years.”

“Right, right. Three years.”

As the man flicked his hand, the attendant guarding the door forcibly grabbed the man who was lying on the floor and lifted him up.

“Hu, gasp…”

Panting as if his breath was running out, he was dragged along and his body trembled as if in a seizure at the man’s gaze.

“I understand that you went through a lot of hardship for three years because you were forced to go, Se-hyun-ah.”

His long, ribbed fingers bounced off what he was holding. There was still a spark, so white smoke dripped under my feet.

“Still, you have to take care of the cubs below.”

“……”

“You know there are fucking rumours going around, but you just let it go?”

Rumour. Yeah… I knew that the person who was brought in was talking nonsense about sleeping with me or that he would use me as a stepping stone to get out of this place.

But I didn’t want to step in and touch him. No matter how funny and absurd the dreams they had, they couldn’t become reality anyway.

If I had known that things would turn out like this, I would have come forward and cracked down on him in advance. Belated regrets came. (일이 이렇게 될 줄 알았다면 내가 나서서 미리 입단속을 시킬 것을 그랬다)

“Or what, is that bastard said true?”

“Director.”

“Tell me. Did you roll with that stinky male prostitute?” (저 냄새 나는 남창 새끼랑 굴렀어?)

“No.”

“But why are you making that face, Se-hyun-ah? It’s like you were really rolling around with that fucking bastard.”

“…I apologize.”

I quickly lowered my head at the sound of anger.

I wasn’t afraid to see the man’s anger directed at me. Rather, it was something to be grateful for. But there was no possibility of that. The man also knew very well that touching others worked better for me.