Novel Bin Chapter 30: Believing in a Sinner
"Yes?"
"What\'s your relationship with the Second Prince?"
She answered primly, "You make it sound like I\'m having an affair."
"I\'d never think of you that way."
"Really?"
"Of course. We\'ve spent so much time together, how could I not trust you?"
"Hah..."
Though I thought I\'d given a solid answer, Elphisia sighed. She stopped walking, pointed at my chest, and spoke deliberately."Harte, you should doubt people no matter how long you\'ve known them. If you don\'t, you\'ll end up regretting it. Surely... someday..."
"Even so, I\'ve always been the trusting type."
"I know that all too well. Because I know so well..." Elphisia grumbled, displeased. "You need someone to stay by your side and look after you..."
"That\'s fortunate then. You\'ll stay by my side, won\'t you?"
"..."
She furrowed her brow. My values still didn\'t sit well with her.
"This conversation is going nowhere. Fine. A contract is a contract, so I\'ll help you from the sidelines. You should be jumping for joy."
"If you say so."
I grabbed Elphisia\'s hand and raised it to the sky. Her small hand pointing at the night sky looked as if it could grasp the twinkling stars.
Elphisia glanced at me, exasperated.
The atmosphere felt odd, so I awkwardly added, "... Hooray?"
"What am I going to do with you..."
Well, I was completely clueless.
Communication with Elphisia was particularly challenging. In terms of difficulty, Flotia ranked first, Elphisia second, and Yulian third.
Thanks to that, I had to scramble to find something to say. As I did, my gaze settled on Elphisia\'s head.
Among all her accessories, the hairpin was of the poorest quality, but the red butterfly carved on it was as beautiful as Elphisia\'s eyes.
A strange feeling welled up inside me.
I felt both sorry and glad that she had adorned herself with such a cheap trinket for this grand banquet.
So I spoke more naturally. "You wore it."
"What are you talking about?"
"The first extravagance I ever indulged in."
"Ah."
Elphisia dismissed it casually.
"The maid just grabbed whatever was at hand to decorate me."
"Then I should thank that maid. What\'s her name?"
"..."
For a moment she was at a loss for words, but quickly regained her composure. Unlike before, Elphisia was now fanning herself to cool her face.
"... Do you think I have enough free time to remember every maid\'s name? You\'re worrying about pointless things."
"I thought someone as smart as you would obviously know, that\'s all."
Even if it really had been the maid\'s choice, if Elphisia didn\'t like the hairpin, she could have simply put it back in the jewelry box.
In the end, it all came down to Elphisia\'s will.
So I didn\'t hold back on praise, as much as I was pleased.
"You\'re beautiful. The most beautiful in the ballroom."
"... Hmph, suddenly flattering me?"
"I\'m not dishonest enough to speak such obvious lies."
"Unlike you, trusting isn\'t my forte. It can\'t be helped."
"That\'s okay. Then I\'ll keep telling you until my sincerity reaches you. We\'ll be together for a long time, just like you said, right?"
I spoke without much thought, but looking back, I felt embarrassed. Each sentence on its own could be interpreted strangely.
So I tried to make a belated excuse.
Until Elphisia beat me to it.
"That\'s right," she said. "I\'ll stick by your side since I have no choice."
She added one more thing.
"Because it\'s a contract."
"Right, because it\'s a contract. I, as the beneficiary, will be more grateful."
"..."
Every time she mentions the contract, it could be misunderstood as an impersonal statement. But Elphisia\'s businesslike tone was laced with respect and consideration, so it didn\'t bother me at all.
Rather, I was glad.
That\'s why I had to ask her again.
"Yes?"
"What\'s your relationship with the Second Prince?"
Of course, I\'m not suspecting an affair or anything like that. Elphisia\'s upright character was the kind that would break before it bent.
I just sensed a strange undercurrent.
When talking with the Second Prince, I got the impression that she was reluctant to intervene. Or should I say she felt awkward speaking up? There seemed to be some kind of connection between them.
Now that I\'ve formed a relationship with the Second Prince as well, I think I should know what I need to know.
Elphisia only parted her tightly closed lips after taking five or six steps.
"... Do I have to tell you?"
"I\'d like you to. We can work through any awkwardness together. Because we\'re husband and wife, after all."
"By contract, you mean."
"Yes, husband and wife by contract."
It was a night where Elphisia pressed her lips together many times. It seemed clear there was some friction, so I didn\'t press her any further.
Elphisia\'s voice only came when the chirping of insects was the only thing muffling the space between us.
"I have no connection to the Second Prince."
"None?"
"... I just know his fiancée, Linia Chandler, that\'s all."
"The Second Prince\'s fiancée..."
Reflecting on the early evening ballroom, my memory becomes clearer.
The lady dancing the opening dance with the Second Prince looked precarious. Everyone slandered her as a stick figure, and some even hurled abuse, saying she sold her stomach for a title. I found it deeply regrettable.
"Are you close with his fiancée?"
"Of course not. She\'s the worst enemy I could have in this world."
"I see..."
Hatred rarely seeped through Elphisia\'s tone. What incident in the past could have made someone of Elphisia\'s character hate another person?
My curiosity surged inwardly.
"To put it bluntly, I\'m the one who made Linia Chandler like that. I made a mistake in a moment of passion."
"... Did you do something with the duke\'s power?"
"No."
"Then?"
"I cursed her with sharp words right then and there. That\'s all."
"I see."
I\'ve never witnessed Elphisia speaking venomously in earnest. So I couldn\'t imagine how she might have cursed Linia Chandler.
This time when I fell silent, she spoke first, as if anxious.
"Is that all you have to say?"
"Yeah, that\'s it."
I caught Elphisia\'s eyes wavering. I was certain she would take my next words seriously. So I gently took Elphisia\'s cold hand and supported it.
"I\'ve always been the type to trust. And now I\'m a husband who should trust his wife. I\'ll believe there was a reason you had to be angry, Elphisia."
"..."
"But this changes things."
"... What?"
To her, who looked dumbfounded, I boldly stated my intentions.
"I think it\'s my responsibility to take care of your regrets. So I\'d like to help more actively."
"Wait, Harte. I\'m not particularly regretting anything."
"If you really didn\'t regret it, you would have told me straight away instead of deflecting at first. Because Elphisia Luminel is a person who shines brightly enough to do so."
"..."
Indeed, it was a strange night.
Elphisia, who was always dignified, kept her mouth shut far too often.
The silence that enveloped us continued until we returned to the ballroom.
---
---
It was always like this.
Harte doesn\'t know how skillfully people hide their ugliness. So he smiles at a villain like me as if he\'d give me the world.
Pathetically, I feel relieved every time.
Contradictorily, selfishly, because he can\'t see through this ugliness, he can stay by my side forever.
Harte called me a shining person, but in truth, the only person shining in this world is Harte alone.
I shamelessly occupy a place by such a person\'s side and toss out cold words.
Because I can\'t let go even though I should.
Because I can\'t forget the miracle that added color to my monochrome world.
Because I can\'t send you away after you abandoned the world once for my sake.
... I secured a place by your side through cowardly trickery.
\'You saw right through me. You.\'
Regarding Linia Chandler.
It doesn\'t matter if I\'m persecuted.
That\'s an unchanging fact.
But the moment she insulted Harte, my patience snapped, and I said things I shouldn\'t have.
It would be a lie to say I feel no guilt. Because I\'m not in a position to persecute Linia Chandler, being the villain I am.
... Yes, that\'s right. I\'m a sinner who only became human after stepping on your sacrifice.
So, in this life, I want to repay the sins I\'ve shouldered by your side.
That is my only wish.
So please don\'t interfere.
You, I mean.
You who follow us with quick steps as soon as we return to the ballroom.
You who look at my husband with a woman\'s eyes, not a saint\'s.
The difference between you and me is simple.
For me, my husband comes before anything else in the world... but for you, your mission as the bearer of a baptismal name comes first.
The match is already decided there.
So...
"Thou shalt not commit adultery."
I snapped at the Holy Maiden, taking a step ahead of Harte.
"I hear my husband is quite fond of that saying. Even if one commits it in their heart rather than action, it\'s still a sin..."
"... And?"
The Holy Maiden retorted with vigor. But she was just a novice who rarely had the chance to argue in her life.
"If the Holy Maiden happens to take a fancy to a man, wouldn\'t it be worth remembering? It\'s one of the vices he truly despises. Isn\'t that right?"
"Huh? Well, yes. We can\'t help how we feel, but that\'s why we train to somehow control it."
"Harte. Then surely the Holy Maiden\'s cultivation must be quite lofty?"
"That goes without saying. She\'s like a symbol of the temple. Ibria is a friend to be proud of."
That\'s not true at all, Harte.
In fact, this woman is committing the sin of adultery even at this very moment. You\'re the only one who sees her as just a friend.
"Ugh..."
The Holy Maiden openly displays a wounded expression.
I don\'t want to do this either.
After all, I\'m a sinner.
Tearing open the chest of a pure saint is unforgivable.
If only she hadn\'t clung to lingering feelings for you, who\'s already become my husband, perhaps we could have had a friendly chat.
Nevertheless, the sin runs deep.
Do people never change, even when reborn?
Suddenly, I miss that small orphanage.
When I was there, I was just happy, without these kinds of thoughts...
Contradictorily, selfishly, I miss the children.
Those little ones I persecuted and drove away...
"I miss..."
...
......
The desire that slipped out for a moment was swallowed back, blocked by the threshold of reason.
But they say words have power.
The world must surely be under some strange spell.
---
---
The atmosphere is subtle.
Even if I\'m insensitive, I noticed the tension between Elphisia and Ibria.
... Why?
Why are these two people, meeting for the first time today, exchanging such fiery glances? Moreover, given who they are, the crowd\'s attention is focused on them, making it uncomfortable.
I decided it would be better to wrap things up for now.
I asked Ibria for understanding.
"Ibria. Sorry, but we have to go. We have company."
"Company? Who?"
"Our house\'s kids."
"... What?"
Ibria looked back and forth between me and Elphisia, dumbfounded. I don\'t understand why, but this was my chance while she was distracted.
"Let\'s meet again later. I\'ll try to visit the temple occasionally if I can."
"W-Wait...! Kids? Huh? That woman... I mean, do you and the young lady have children?"
"Yeah, three if we\'re counting."
"Triplets...?!"
Well, since all three kids are the same age, I suppose it\'s fine to call them triplets. What a coincidence.
I gave Ibria, who was staring intently at Elphisia\'s abdomen, some assurance.
"Well, that\'s how it is."
"How... could this be...!"
Ibria approached Elphisia abruptly. But her hand position seemed poised to feel her belly.
\'It must be my imagination... Ibria wouldn\'t harbor lust towards a woman.\'
The current priority wasn\'t some pointless fantasy about Ibria\'s lust, but Yulian\'s well-being. It\'s time to bid farewell to my old friend.
"Let\'s go, Elphisia."
"Yes, Harte."
Elphisia\'s complexion improved as she leaned on me. As if she had just drunk some refreshing carbonated water.
Just then, as I was looking around, Elphisia said to me:
"If you\'re looking for Yulian, it would be faster to find Court Count Arwel."
"Oh, that would make it easier to find him."
"Hm? Why\'s that?"
"Uh..."
I almost thoughtlessly mentioned a terribly insulting observation.
To think I was about to blurt out something so awful about his shiny head attracting attention.
It was truly a slothfulness that would shame the Lord.
"The Court Count is quite tall... so I thought he\'d be easy to spot."
"Is that so? Now that you mention it, I\'m embarrassed by the falsehood I just told you."
"Falsehood?"
"Yes. I see now that he\'s not with Court Count Arwel, but with the First Prince."
"The First Prince...? Suddenly!?"
I immediately found the spot Elphisia was focused on. As she said, Yulian and the First Prince were standing face to face, talking, with an unusual intensity in their eyes.
As I moved towards them, I opened my hearing.
Even without divine power, it\'s possible to activate the five senses to some degree.
The content of the conversation I heard was cold enough to make me doubt they were brothers.
"Know your place, like Rayners."
If it had stopped there, I could have taken it as light sparring in the struggle for succession.
But the First Prince deliberately poked at Yulian\'s painful wound.
"If you insist on interfering... you\'ll die without a trace, just like the Second Empress that His Majesty found so bothersome."